So, there’s a great Oscar Wilde quote, which is that: “Everything in life is about sex, except for sex, which is about power.”

When you think about seduction, you probably think about it in a rather narrow sense, in terms of erotic seduction or sexual seduction. But what if I were to suggest to you seduction is a much deeper, wider, more mysterious thing, and actually at the heart of it is the secret to success in life.

My name is Dr Raj Persaud, I’m a consultant psychiatrist. I wrote a book on the psychology of seduction as being the key secret at the heart of successful relationships.

So, I’m Tempest Rose. I’m an international burlesque performer, creative director, and teacher and producer.

If you think about your average day and the way you make your way through your average day, and the people you meet: … your work colleagues, your friends and people who might serve you in restaurants and so on; … if you learn the art of seduction and you seduce these people into liking you, and therefore delivering what you want, you’ll find it much easier to navigate your way through life.

Burlesque performers are good at seduction because we’re trained to understand that we make choices in how we present our art to the audience. On stage, we learn to use our seduction techniques consciously. So, I know that if I cast my eye a certain way, the audience will focus on a certain part of my costuming. Or, if I move in a certain way, it draws attention to a part of my body, and that will be part of the story that I want to tell within my act.

So, we learn to be very aware of … even just a glance of the eye, or a stroke of the hands on the body.

We use all of these tools to direct the audience’s gaze because we want to tell them a story. So, all of these micro-movements are really, really important in getting to grips with how you direct the audience to watch your act and absorb what you’re trying to tell them.

When we perform burlesque at a show, we’re clowning ideas of what attraction is and of what sexuality is and what seduction is. We’re playing with what might be called ‘the traditional feminine arts’ and we’re using those as a springboard, really, … … to play with the audience about ideas of power and ideas of that enticement, ‘seducement’, and glamour as well.

Find out what that person’s unmet need is, and then fill it in a way it’s never been filled before. In my clinic, people come in and they’re often unhappy. Why are they unhappy? They’re unhappy because they’re frustrated with the world. The world is not giving them what they want. It’s not giving them a pay rise. It’s not giving them a date with the people they want to have a date with. It’s not giving them popularity or love or affection.

And so, people are upset and they have a demanding approach to the world. Why is the world not giving me what I want? So, in order to get what you want from the world, you need to understand this basic transaction. You’re going to have to give something to the world to get that thing that you want.

The problem is we’re always thinking about our own unmet needs and that distracts us from focusing on the person in front of us. What are they after in life? What drives them? What moves them forward? And in particular, what their key frustrations are.

A lot of small talk, in terms of passing the time of day. doesn’t seem to be very directed; but seductive people are actually using small talk in a particular way. What they’re doing is they’re figuring out the direction your life is travelling in. They’re trying to figure out what it is that drives you forward. What it is that you want. What it is that you need. What it is that frustrates you. They’re getting inside your head and that’s the best way to find out what the unmet need is and then to fill it in a way that it’s never been filled before.

One of the things that I really want the audience to go away feeling is that there is no one rule about how to be attractive, how to be sexy, how to be seductive because each of us have our own individual power. And the importance of burlesque is to be an antidote to the one-dimensional idea that there is only one way to do these things.

So, each performer really roots into their individuality and then we magnify it to make this huge explosion of individual gravitas and attraction and seduction.

Most people have very low self-esteem about the idea that they could learn to be seductive. They believe you’re either born with it, you’re either drop-dead gorgeous, or you’re not. I think seduction is a learnable skill. What I mean by that is anyone can learn to be seductive, and certainly to be more seductive. So, if you learn the skills of seduction, you can be as seductive as any of the most gorgeous people you’ve ever met in your life.
(End)

• Seduction (noun): the act of attracting someone to you by persuasion or appeal.
• Narrow (adjective): limited or restricted to a small area.
• Erotic (adjective): relating to sexual desire and pleasure.
• At the heart of something (idiom): the most important part of something.
• A consultant psychiatrist (noun): an expert doctor in the field of mental illness.
• Burlesque (noun): a type of entertainment that includes dancing and striptease (a performer removing their clothes).
• To make your way (idiom): to move to a place or different situation or state.
• And so on (phrase): together with other similar things.
• To seduce someone (verb): to persuade or cause someone to do something.
• To navigate something (verb): to deal effectively with a difficult situation.
• An audience (noun): a group of people together in one place to watch/ listen to something.
• A stage (noun): a physical platform where actors, musicians, etc. perform to an audience.
• Consciously (adverb): in a way that involves noticing a particular thing, paying attention to it.
• To cast your eye (phrase): to look in a particular direction.
• Costuming/ a costume (noun): a set of clothes worn by a performer for entertainment.
• To draw attention to something (phrase): to make someone notice something.
• A glance (noun): a quick look.
• A stroke (noun): a soft movement of your hand over a surface.
• A gaze (noun): a long, continuous look at someone or something.
• Micro- (prefix): very small.
• To get to grips with something (idiom): to begin to understand something difficult.
• To absorb something (verb): to take something in, to understand something.
• To clown something (verb): to playfully make fun of something or exaggerate it.
• To use something as a springboard (idiom): to use something as a starting point to develop an idea or action.
• Enticement (noun): persuading someone to do something by giving them something nice.
• Glamour (noun): the exciting and attractive quality of a person, place, or activity.
• Unmet (adjective): not satisfied or achieved.
• A clinic (noun): a building or part of a hospital where people go for medical care.
• Affection (noun): a feeling of liking a person or a place.
• Demanding (adjective): needing a lot of time, attention, or energy.
• An approach (noun): a way of doing or thinking about something.
• A transaction (noun): the action of buying or selling, or exchanging, something.
• To be after something (phrase): to try to find or get something.
• To move someone forward (phrase): to motivate or encourage someone to continue.
• To pass the time of day (idiom): to have a short informal conversation.
• To get inside someone’s head (idiom): to understand how someone thinks.
• To go away (phrasal verb): to leave a place.
• An antidote (noun): a way of preventing or acting against something bad.
• One-dimensional (adjective): too simple; seeing only one way or one side of something.
• To root into something (phrase): to deeply connect with or base yourself in something.
• To magnify something (verb): to make something look or seem larger than it is.
• Gravitas (noun): a strong, powerful feeling that makes people pay attention to you.
• Self-esteem (noun): belief and confidence in your own ability and value.
• Drop-dead gorgeous (idiom): extremely beautiful or attractive.
• Certainly (adverb): used to emphasise something and show there is no doubt about it.

In this text, there are some interesting examples of advanced present simple and continuous forms.

The present simple is normally used to talk about:

• General truths: ‘Water boils at 100 degrees Celsius.’
• Something that happens regularly: ‘She plays the piano every day.’
• Future schedules: ‘The train leaves at 6:30.‘

The continuous is normally used to talk about:

• Actions in progress at this moment: ‘She’s talking to her sister now.’
• Temporary actions: ‘We’re staying with friends until we sell our house.’
• Organised future plans: ‘I’m flying to Paris tomorrow night.’

Other uses of the present simple and continuous include:

State verbs: state verbs describe a state, not an action. They aren’t usually used in continuous forms:

‘I really like this film!’   I’m really liking this film!   ‘We agree with you.’   We’re agreeing with you.

Some verbs can have a stative and a different active meaning:

‘He has 4 dogs.’ (state – possession)   ‘He’s having fun!’ (action – having a good experience)

The present simple can be also used for:

• News headlines, instructions, and plot summaries

‘Government raises taxes again!’   ‘Press the green button.’   ‘The detective follows the clues and catches the thief.’

• Anecdotes: to make stories and actions more immediate and engaging

‘So, I walk into the café, and guess what? I see my old school friend after ten years!’

The present continuous can also be used for:

• Describing a change or development, complaints and annoying habits (with always):

‘Technology is advancing rapidly.’   ‘He’s always interrupting me when I speak!’

Examples in the text

• Everything in life is about sex: the present simple is used here to describe a general truth.
• Burlesque performers are good at seduction: the present simple is used here to describe a general truth.
• On stage, we learn to use our seduction techniques consciously: the present simple is used here to talk about something that happens regularly.
• We’re playing with what might be called ‘the traditional feminine arts’: the present continuous is used here to describe a temporary action, what the performers do on stage for a short time.
• Find out what that person’s unmet need is: the present simple is used here to give an instruction.
• The problem is we’re always thinking about our own unmet needs: the present continuous is used here with ‘always’ to talk about a complaint or annoying habit.
• … but seductive people are actually using small talk in a particular way: the present continuous is used here to describe change and development, a current trend that is happening now.

https://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/grammar/c1-grammar/advanced-present-simple-continuous

https://www.englishpodcastscollected.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/BBC-Ideas-Unpacking-the-psychology-of-seduction.pdf

https://www.englishpodcastscollected.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/BBC-Ideas-Unpacking-the-psychology-of-seduction.docx